Slow down, I did not drink any wine at 10am - I am simply curious, you know, for future reference.
We had a challenging start to our morning. Almost every evening we try to clean up the kitchen, ABA/playroom (what most people call a dining room), and the living room, which is actually more of a family room, considering there is a tv in there. It's a goal. It does not mean it always get accomplished. Like last night - the nightly cleanup ritual did not take place last night. Nor did it this evening, but we will deal with that tomorrow morning.
Milla's task this morning was to clean up the zillion pieces of dollhouse furniture she pulled out last night and did not put away.
ABA has taught us a lot about discipline and we sometimes have to switch things up. Our current system uses X's and then a timeout after a certain number of X's received. Milla gets three X's and then gets a timeout. Because Reiss is a big boy and should be more responsible for his actions (and because when he was still receiving three X's he was getting to a point where the system was ineffective and he was asking how many X's he had), he now gets two X's and then a timeout.
An X is given if either child responds inappropriately to a request or refuses to do something asked of him or her. For example, Milla was asked to put away the dollhouse furniture. She sat in the midst of the mess on the floor picking at her toes. Because she did not begin putting away the toys, she received an X. She was asked again, and again, was given an X when she did not begin putting away the toys. This went on several times. Three X's. Timeout. Three X's. Timeout. Finally, after the third or fourth timeout, Milla apparently figured out I was not going to budge and that she might as well put up the dollhouse furniture. And that's exactly what she did. Very quickly, I might add.
After she received her several timeouts and decided to get everything all cleaned up and tidy, I was nearly at the point of taking a bottle of wine and sitting in the corner for a stimming session of my own. However, Milla walked away from the situation with a smile on her face and very compliant from then on. We had a fairly pleasant day and no wine corks were popped.
As I sit here, I see several toys lying on the floor. So who knows, perhaps tomorrow we will have a repeat of this morning and I will end up in that corner. I welcome any input, as it is definitely best to know in advance whether or not wine in the morning is acceptable.
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5 comments:
Come and whine to us instead. I may not always comment but I read ur blogs.
Well, I have always contended that tea is a better choice for moms...or even coffee. And I admit that some days I drink a lot of tea and/or coffee to stay calm. And some days I should probably drink more. :-) Some days I'm worn out by 8:00 am! Of course, that's because while a glass of wine at 10 would probably not hurt, I'm afraid that I would need one at 11, 12, 4, 5, 6 and then definitely at bedtime. :-)
thanks for sharing your discipline system. i like that and we are in need of something similar in our home. i am starting to get defiant behavior and this looks like a great (and challenging!) way to help him learn how to control himself.
Our disciplinary system is something that came as a result of a major learning process. When we began ABA, our therapists were using a form of 1-2-3 Magic, which works for some kids but was nearly useless for Reiss.
Reiss took the counting to three process of 1-2-3 Magic as his permission slip to continue misbehaving until right before three and would then comply with whatever was being asked of him. We did not see this as effective and neither did our BCBA with our ABA program. Our wish is to have our children comply when asked to do something, not wait until the last second when they know they are getting ready to get in trouble. So the X system was developed.
The X system produces immediate results. If they are asked to do something and do not do it, they get an "X", not two more chances to comply like 1-2-3 Magic allows.
I hope the X system works for you but do not lose hope if it doesn't. Every child is different and even our BCBA has all but come right out and told us our son is one of the most challenging cases she has ever had as far as Reiss needing a new behavior plan and disciplinary system every once in awhile. Just when we think we have things figured out, he begins to become non-compliant again and we have to change things up....
Good luck to you!!!
I am implementing that system tomorrow. I am, seriously. And I will blog about it, too. My son's behavior has been spiraling lately, and the latest thing is arguing with absolutely every thing that comes out of my mouth. Today I said, while on the phone with my mom, "I am just so tired," and he immediately piped up, "No, I think you are NOT so tired." Starting first thing tomorrow morning, we address the arguing as its very own separate behavior issue. And he is in for a shock.
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